Just the other day, I received a troubling mass email message from Marc H. Rudov, a.k.a. The No Nonsense Man. He has declared his intent to cease his almost decade-long operation of promoting the rights of men in America and his specialty, dating equality. A movement unto himself, Rudov has appeared dozens of times on cable news, mostly Fox News, and scores of call-in radio programs throughout North America, promoting the view that, relative to women's undeniable advances these past forty years, men have experienced a relative decline, in both legal rights and social respect.
Rudov, who emerged on the larger scene about seven years or so ago, began primarily as a men's dating coach with his self-published no-nonsense guide on dating. There, with some apparent clever marketing, he began with his media appearances, in which he heavily denounced the inequality of longstanding dating rituals: A man picks up a woman, drives her to dinner or another social outing, pays for all or most, and heavily complements this with pricey flowers and other expensive tokens. These would be men escorting around women who were now considered their social and professional equals, unlike just two generations before when these customs most flourished. Of course, Rudov was met with some broad interest, but more roundly denounced a misogynist. This was especially the case after his commentaries segued into, more or less, arguing that women today enjoy broader privileges over men legally and often financially, and are in a position to, and often do abuse them. As many have said before him, though less notable, this has primarily pertained to men's experiences in divorce and family courts.
No doubt, the passage of time will render his efforts as more than meaningful, as having greatly advanced the conversation about male concerns into a greatly emerging, mainstream discussion. Before I continue on this road myself, I see it as necessary to state clearly and concisely, how I view the "better half" of humanity.
Women are like men in that they are just as diverse. WOMEN AND MEN ARE NOT, I repeat, NOT NATURAL-BORN ADVERSARIES. No two generations of women (or men, for that matter) have been quite the same. Factor in as well the cross-cultural differences: there's a huge gap between the Druids and the Anglo-Victorians, women from Ancient Egypt to modern Arab societies, from indiginous cultures to East Asia. It's just like comparing and contrasting men. If you hate S.S. officers and jihadists, do you therefore dislike all men?
"According to sociologist Allan G. Johnson, 'misogyny is a cultural attitude of hatred for females because they are female.'"Thus, misogyny on the part of a man or men (or even some women) is essentially transhistoric and transcendant of culture and race. As is argued in conventional Islam, women as a set within creation are considered unilaterally of a lower rung: be this due to morality, strength, intellect, or will. A misogynist is someone who looks down upon women collectively, that is, "ad feminam."
In Catholicism, popes and saints have written about the special gifts of women, and a paradox has formed: for centuries, the thinking was based upon "Eve the Temptress." In modern, even conservative circles, it is almost now "Adam the Cad." The Women's Movements ushered in some great progress for all, yet the drawbacks are too numerous to lay out in one statement. One of these is the phenomenon of misandry, like misogyny, but in reverse: often by women aimed at men and males in general.
As I am on record as predicting almost a decade ago, in America and other advanced, Western societies, young adult, Millennial females. of the generation up to age 30, have decidely surpassed their male counterparts on most notable social measures. Some noted commentators have even described Caucasion Millennial females as the "most privileged" cohort of humans ever to exist: Countless efforts and resources on all levels, at all turns of society, were diverted and invested into their causes: sports playing, self-esteem building, re-configuring didactics for all to be tailored to their learning styles, designated girl-as-minority scholarships (even as majority), policies and laws protective only of them, etc etc etc...
Equal opportunity is one thing; over-privilege is quite another, even as unspoken reparations for the past dearth of the former. All-female enclaves still flourish in the U.S. today, while all-male enclaves have mostly been integrated, thus squelched. As even before the Great Recession -- which itself took a greater toll on jobs for men -- Millennial working women in urban areas (which have the higher wages) collectively out-earned, on average, on balance, their male counterparts, effectively reversing the conventional wage gap for an entire, major population cohort. No doubt, society as a whole has divested its attention and resources away from younger men.
Have you ever noticed how whenever some Caucasian American Millennial female does something charitable or nice, the action or event gets its own Facebook page? "Missy's volunteering page" or "Laura's mission trip," with their 1000+ "Likes." I mean, talk about going above and beyond, to the point of personal martyrdom! So how does all of this female rah-rah, including the majority of (at least) 2012 American Olympians, impact men? Or, better yet, how does it impact woman-man interactions? Like never before, that's how.
This female population cohort is more romantically and socially frustrated than ever. More ink has been spilt on magazine pages and now, bestselling books, about the compromised levels of male peers available to them. But too often, as in so many other life scenarios, these younger women, in this society today, are viewed as blameless victims of circumstance, if not prejudice. Even when marital age delay is factored (i.e., young professionals marrying at age 31, not 24), fewer marriages are happening than ever before. Of course, for a generation that grew up on the "boys are stupid, throw rocks at them" motif, this is because we're losers, we're pigs or swine or dogs, and just don't get the meaning of committment.
In fact, even though younger women outearn us on the whole, they still assess us according to the densities of our wallets, social ranks, etc. And who ever said our physical appearances were out of the equation? There wouldn't be studies at Harvard on male "Bigorexia" if it just wasn't so. Then, there are all these additional, vague and capricious personality tests we must meet, oftentimes just plain "knowing" what she wants, right when she wants it. Feminists have been too busy moaning about "reproductive rights" to even begin to focus on this paradox. But someone must.
Yet, that tide is slowly turning. Books, such as "Why You're Not Married Yet" and "Marry Him" thoruoghly address this phenomena. It's often their own fault when "still" not married. But implicitely, it's our fault no matter what. Most of what goes wrong for many of them is our fault. They party and drink (per capita) more than men nowadays, yet since we set that trend in the first place, the negative and predictable fallout for young adult women is, of course, our fault. In a workplace or professional setting, many are oh so quick to banter at us about "taking responsibility," but then again, what is theirs? Before you hop up and start excoriating all feminists, just consider some of the baby-boomer males you know who have daughters. Think about how these deeply-vaginized beings, having heard the women's liberation rhetoric of the 1970s, their wives fanfare about Oprah Winfrey, and before that, Mom's early 1960s romanticizing about chivalry all rolled together, get all chocked up with emotion upon Stacey or Brianna winning this or that gold award in high schools, colleges and beyond? They weep to themselves, "If only Mom had these opportunities." While these ace daddies stacked it all against us as they took over the reigns of society, they're angry now that we can't give their precious princesses their due as "good providers."
The question is not whether or not women are inclined to marry up: Generally, they are. The true paradox of this era is, "What if there isn't enough 'up' to marry into?" Go ahead ladies, by all means, keep those brains working and getting educated, I'm in NO way opposing it. But like it or not, this is the fundamental turning point we are at.
Younger guys being called "misogynists" for identifying and avoiding what is rank spoiled brat behavior on so many levels, is to almost suggest -- ad feminam -- girls and women generally of being naturally bratty. Yet, such whiny windbags abound.
Rudov hasn't said enough times, treating women's bad behavior with kid gloves is to treat adults like little girls. And how does this honor womanhood and equal opportunity?
Women's true potenital is now, at long last, being realized. And it's wonderful. But we live within many zero-sum realities: A law school entering class with 100 seats, determined to be equal, is now rejecting nearly 50 guys it otherwise would have taken decades ago before Title IX of the Equal Rights Amendment. Does this have implications? Hell yeah. Am I saying the legal profession should be all or mostly male? Of course not. But those lacking in analytical depth will say that's what I'm saying, nonetheless.
Among American Caucasian female Millennials are some of the most splendid human beings to dwell existence. Yet, among others is a dense concentrate of self-entitlement and anti-male bigotry. Marc Rudov seemed to aim his messages primarily at his own age cohort (40s,50s and 60s), but problems, all told, are most acute among the younger ages. so if he does decide to close up shop (pending current reader response), know that the torch will nonetheless be carried forward. As the educational gaps -- long in place -- steadily increase, and anti-male laws beefed up per the Obama administration, young men will (and already are) get completely fed up. Let the revolution begin.
Like men, among both groups and individuals, some are great. Others are less so. It's not because "all women..." this or that, just as so often it's "all men..." Let's keep that in mind as at long last, an honest discussion between the sexes takes form.
