"The Nice GuyTM Syndrome the phenomenon in which a self-proclaimed “nice guy” laments about how his close female friends – for whom he harbors feelings – never want to have a relationship or sex with him. “Why does she always go for the jerk?” the “nice guy” laments. “I’m such a NICE GUY!” Often in these situations, the woman has no idea what his feelings are. Other times, they know but don’t reciprocate, preferring to carry on a friendship than a relationship."
"This, apparently, is totally unacceptable to them. There are memes devoted to the dreaded “friend zone.” There are angsty chain Facebook statuses that are posted passive aggressively time and time again. One of them reads, “A woman has a close male friend. This means he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much.” Right, because no one wants to be friends with a woman unless she’s having sex with them eventually, right? The status continues to compare a woman just wanting a friendship with a man to a job interview in which the potential employer says, 'You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we’re not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But we’re going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic.'"
Or better yet, take the job for no pay, while hiring somebody else with lesser qualifications as your boss. That seems more like it. I will give her some kudos on the first part, though.
She elaborates that nice guys "stew bitterly in a sense of their own entitlement, waiting indignantly for something that was never promised to them." In other words, such a guy thinks he's been "robbed of his birthright" when denied the eros he desires, and relegated to being a "just a friend."
In conclusion, "If you have sincere, romantic feelings for a woman you’re friends with, be up front with her." Ditto there. As I've written in two posts below, it is quite pathetic that guys are too wimpy as not to do this. They'll self-righteously pigeonhole real men as "players" and "disrespectful toward women" for not "getting to know them first." All the while, they harbor this erotic attraction, the most pathetic among them finding a herd of women to befriend, moving from one to the next as "friends" when the last heartfelt confession was shot down by the one before.
But this blogging beauty mandates "And if she doesn’t feel the same way? Value her anyway. Be her friend," She also decries romance-seeking men in general as disrespecting of women whom they don't prioritize in their lives as platonic friends, on the basis alone of her whims and their previous interactions.
What stuck-up, misandrist thinking this is. Yes, a man has, as his birthright, the need to find a wife. That usually doesn't happen listening to the likes of this brilliant dame bemoan being "used," along with all her past "friends with benefits" mishaps. He has just as much a right to find love with the opposite sex as do you. Your late night, tear-soaked phonecalls about more boy problems (all of whom you chose, by the way) is a HUGE energy and time drain that hampers the emotional and social growth of both parties. He could be spending that time meeting women who appreciate him for all that he is.
Her argument is fallaciously predicated on the belief that since she already cares for a nice guy as a platonic friend, that he ought to sincerely reciprocate as such. While alleging that these guys only want to get laid by their attractive female friends, these women are so caring and charitable as to still be there for him as his friend. But her own anecdotes speak to the reality of this arrangement: he exists largely as her on-call, free therapeutic crying towel. Who's going to be his free shrink when the poor sap is consumed not by sexual frustration, but pure grief, whenever her tears and moments of joy surrounding her latest paramour are dumped on his lap?
Her (and many others like her) sense of entitlement to his unrequited adoration speaks to a disordered self-centerdness on the women's part. This is almost particular to many Americana Millennial females, who see themselves as perpetual victims no matter what.
